


The Change

by waterbird13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Benny is back from the dead, Dean is human again, Emotional Abuse, Gen, Physical Abuse, Recovery, Sam's very low self esteem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1925820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam, Cas, and Dean bring Benny back from Purgatory when Dean seems to need his "brother" after coming back from demonhood. In an attempt to bridge the gap between him and Sam, Benny discovers some things about Sam and the relationship between Sam and Dean that he doesn't like much, and goes out of his way to get the brothers on the path of rebuilding their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Contract

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone--  
> This is the first completed arc in this 'verse. There will likely be additional, smaller pieces later.  
> Warning for abuse, both physical and mental, and Sam's very low self-esteem. There is blood (as Benny is a vampire).  
> This is a possible future that could occur wherein Dean's abusive tendencies are exacerbated even further. It is not, to me, a completely out of the blue change, although it's more blatant than we currently see in canon. If abuse upsets you, you may want to skip this. If acknowledging Dean's abusive tendencies upsets you, you may not want to read this.

When Benny arrives back to earth, he honestly thinks the awkwardness between him and Sam was resolved in Purgatory. He quickly finds out that he couldn’t be more wrong. Whatever truce they reached as Benny decided to stay in Purgatory is apparently null and void back on earth.

It’s strange as hell because he knows for a fact that Sam was part of bringing him back. Sam and the angel provided the way, Dean provided the will. Dean specifically said that Cas and his “geek brother” had dug up the spell buried deep in the Men of Letter’s Library when Benny had pressed him about it, to find out what had been done to drag him back here. Benny knew resurrecting a vampire from Purgatory couldn’t be an easy feat, but, according to Dean, Sam had been instrumental in making it happen.

Even if Dean hadn’t told him, he would have known from Sam, who had actually approached him and apologized for his part in it. Said he’d send Benny back, if Benny really wanted to be there, and he’d take the heat from Dean for it. Said he wasn’t justifying what he did but Dean didn’t seem to believe that Benny actually wanted to stay behind and apparently wouldn’t believe it until he heard it with his own two ears.

So far, he’s staying here. It’s better, in this bunker of theirs, with Dean around to keep the human parts of him alive, even with Cas to talk to, and with Sam…well, nearby. Because Sam hasn’t taken to Benny quite like Benny hoped.

He finds Sam in the library, cataloguing a volume that looks older than even Benny, and he waits until Sam looks up to say, “Y’know, Sam…’M not such a bad guy.”

Sam nods. “You’re a decent guy, Benny. You mean a lot to Dean. Obviously. But you will kill again.”

Benny recoils. From what he’s heard about Sam, he’d expected better. Sam was supposed to be the bleeding heart who believes in redemption, not the cold one.

“What makes you say that?”

Sam smiles humorlessly. “Always happens. Can’t escape what you are, Benny. Once a monster, always a monster. And Dean’s not gonna be able to put you down, when you slip. So it’s up to me. Sorry.”

Benny flounders. “What can I do…to show you, that I won’t…”

“Nothing,” Sam says quietly. “Just a fact, Benny. All monsters give in. Dean’s still slotted to kill me, when I do. And I’m in line to take you out, because that’s what family does for each other. Dean can’t do that dirty work so I will. That’s what Winchesters do for each other.”

Sam stands up and looks at Benny, not in the eyes but in the general vicinity of them, a challenge lost in half-heartedness. “Dean might be half in love with you but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know this,” Sam says. “No one knows better than Dean, about doing what has to be done. And it’ll have to be done, Benny. I’m sorry.”

He leaves, as if he can’t look at Benny longer after saying it, but Benny doesn’t let him leave without getting the last word in. “What made you such a cold, cynical bastard?”

Sam laughs brokenly, not turning around. “Ask my brother,” he says. “He taught me everything I know.”

 

Benny doesn’t ask Dean right away. He doesn’t think Sam is right about the “half in love” with him thing, but he does believe that Dean cares about him and he can’t think that maybe Dean shares the same beliefs Sam does about him, that Dean is waiting for him to fuck up.

They’re in the kitchen when Benny finally brings it up, Benny making a pie and Dean frying chicken. 

Benny meant to keep his big mouth closed, but he just…needs to know. Dean and even Cas are more than welcoming to have him around, to have him as one of them, but Sam still tends to pretend Benny isn’t in the room if he doesn’t absolutely have to acknowledge his existence, and it’s grating on Benny, especially now that he knows what Sam is waiting for, what he thinks he’ll have to do.

It’s not that he’s afraid of Sam, because he trusts Sam at his word. Sam believes Benny will give into temptation and kill, and he’s prepared to kill Benny when it happens. Sam won’t lay a finger on him in any other circumstances. Sam’s whole confession threw Benny, but he knows enough about Sam from Dean to know that, despite literally craving blood as bad as Benny himself some days, Sam was never bloodthirsty.

But he does need to know, so he says, “tell me, brother. You believe my chances of stayin’ on the straight and narrow are as low as your brother seems to?”

Dean whirls around. “What did he say?” he snarls.

Benny shrugs. “He thinks I’m gonna fall off the wagon. Says he’s gonna have to do the dirty work and end it.”

“That bitch,” Dean hisses. “I told him you were trustworthy, and he’s been, what? Walking around thinking about killing you? Planning to kill you? I’m gonna pummel his ass, what the hell does he think he’s doing, saying that to you? Hell, even thinking it. I told him you were trustworthy, and this is what he does.”

“Whoa,” Benny says, taken aback. “Simmer down, brother. So Sam’s a bit cautious.”

“A bit cautious?” Dean says, voice rising. “He’s plotting to murder you, Benny!”

“He has a contingency plan,” Benny corrects, and he knows this is a strange way to discuss his own potential death but he also knows that Dean is reading Sam wrong. “And he seems to think it’s what you’d want, if you weren’t…well, close to me.”

“Just because Sam has bad judgment doesn’t mean I do too,” Dean says mulishly. “I mean, for god’s sake, you died to save Sam, you got me outta Purgtory. Sam fucks demons and runs around without a soul and trusts killers and lets his hallucinations get in the way. He needs a fucking babysitter, and he can back the fuck off.” He takes a deep breath. “Excuse me. I need to go talk to my little brother.” 

Benny can see it in Dean’s eyes that this is a bad idea but Dean won’t stop, shrugs off Benny’s hand and walks out with a determined set to his face, and Benny can’t help but feel like he’s made everything worse.

 

When he sees Sam the next day, Sam has a black eye and a split lip and Benny thinks he’s walking a little stiff, too. Benny smelt blood last night. Not a lot, but certainly more than the paper cuts Sam gives himself all the time. Some of it is still on his chin, clearly missed in a hasty swipe of a sleeve.

He feels like a coward for letting it happen when he was aware, perhaps not of what exactly was happening, but at least of the look in Dean’s eyes. He let Dean beat his brother to defend his honor, only if Benny was honest with himself it was far more about defending Dean’s right to have his word obeyed than it ever would be about Benny. 

Sam carefully ignores Benny while he eats his breakfast, and Dean comes in a few minutes later to pointedly ignore Sam. 

Dean chats with Benny but honestly Benny can’t stop watching Sam out of the corner of his eye, watching until Sam gets up and leaves. Dean shows no sign of having noticed.

“What did you do?” Benny barks at Dean as soon as he’s sure Sam is out of earshot.

Dean looks unperturbed. “I taught him a lesson. He’s been like that since he met you. Waiting for a chance. It needs to stop. Honestly, I think he’s jealous. Like a little kid. Always a spoiled, selfish son of a bitch, never learnt to do what was good for others. Always wanted it his own way. Can’t accept I have something outside of babysitting his ass now.”

If it were possible, Benny thinks he would be physically sick. This isn’t how Dean talked about his little brother in Purgatory. Then again, in Purgatory, he talked about a devoted kid who’d do anything and everything for his big brother, who was crawling to the ends of the earth to get to Dean, who hung on Dean’s every word. 

And Sam isn’t that—that creepy, idealized doll Dean wants. So Dean talks about him like this. So Dean beats him. So Dean threatens and ignores him.

Benny leaves. He thinks he should stay and talk to Dean but he can’t. Can’t be there. Can’t have any more of his image of Dean—his brother, in everything but blood, dammit—tarnished that morning.

He works up the courage to find Sam and it takes him a moment longer than that to get the nerve to approach him. He doesn’t know what he should say. Sorry your brother beat you over me.

Instead he offers what he thinks is the worst alternative and says, “Got some, uh, blood. On your lip. In the corner, there. Smells really good, you know. Haven’t smelled blood like that before.”

Out of everything he could say to convince Sam that Dean was right to trust Benny, that wasn’t the right thing. He grimaces internally but Sam just shrugs.

“You don’t want it,” he says dully. “Demon blood. Haven’t you heard? ‘M just as much a freak as you are. Gonna have to be put down myself some day. So how I feel about you—not any different than how I feel about myself. Or most any other Supernatural things. If that makes you feel better.”

“Guess Dean didn’t manage to change your mind,” Benny says.

“Takes more than a few punches from Dean to change my mind anymore,” Sam says seriously, and Benny stiffens up in response.

Cas finds them. The angel’s grown on Benny, since they met, and today he couldn’t be happier to see him.

“You’re hurt,” he observes as he crosses to Sam’s side. “Dean?”

“Just…offended him a bit. Questioned his judgment,” Sam says softly. “He’ll thank me later. Family’s job to do the dirty work, right?”

“You are talking about Amy,” Cas surmises, gently passing his hand across Sam’s eye, healing the worst of the bruising. It doesn’t fade entirely, but it looks days rather than hours old.

Sam stiffens. “How do you know about her?”

Cas heals Sam’s lip as he says, “I took on your pain, Sam, and her death and what it meant was part of your pain. I saw it all.”

Sam seems to ignore the implications of that. “Yeah, well, Dean was right. And I’m right about this. He’s too close. That’s why I couldn’t see Amy. That’s why he had to do it. If he wasn’t so close…he’d see. I’m doing what he wants.”

“And what about what you want?” Cas presses, but Sam shrugs the question off.

Benny doesn’t know this woman, but he thinks Dean and Sam disagreed about killing her. And Dean got his way, in the end.

“What did she do?” he asks, his voice rougher than usual. “Amy?”

“She killed five people,” Sam says hollowly. “When she was fifteen years old she killed her mom to save my life. She stayed clean for years and years. Then she killed five drug dealers because her son was sick and needed his meat fresh, not from a casket. The kid got better and she swore she was done. And I believed her.”

“Dean didn’t,” Benny surmises.

“I told Dean what she told me, and he realized I was too close to the situation,” Sam says.

“Dean promised to not kill this friend of Sam’s, then left Sam, travelled to her home, and murdered her, and lied to Sam about it for weeks,” Cas interjects.

“He did what had to be done,” Sam says quietly.

“Did you believe her?” Benny asks. “Deep down, did you know she was telling the truth?”

“I was too close to it,” Sam repeats. “Just like Dean is too close to you. Monsters are monsters are monsters. Ava gave in. Ruby was evil. I let Lucifer out. Hell, even Lenore, the world’s most peaceful vampire, eventually fed. None of us can escape it. You and I are going to give in. It’s a question of when, not if.”

The idea is wonderful and so bitterly terrible at once, and Benny leans forward, towards Sam, and offers, “tell you what. I give in, you kill me. You got my permission, Winchester. And you go off the rails, and I’ll take care of you. That easy.”

Sam considers it while Cas’ eyes widen. The angel shakes his head furiously, but neither hunter not vampire pay attention.

“Deal,” Sam agrees. “If only so Dean won’t have to. He may not like me much, but the guilt would crush him.”

They shake on it, and Benny knows Sam’s fingers drag over his dead pulse spot, a reminder of sorts, he supposes.

Cas looks ill at the proceedings and Benny has to say that he doesn’t feel much better. He just entered into a killing pact with Sam Winchester and he can’t say he likes it much.

But Sam seems almost reassured by it, and Benny supposes it buys them time, to find out what it’ll take to convince Sam that they can—and have—changed, that they’re more than just time bombs.

And, in the meantime, he can start to think about what to do about Dean.


	2. The Conversation

Benny watches Sam from across the library. It’s never hard to find Sam. The library is always the first place Benny looks, then Sam’s room. Not that he ever goes in there. But if the door is closed, he knows he can stop looking for Sam.

Cas approaches him from behind, quiet footsteps just loud enough for Benny to hear. “Have you thought of what to say to Dean?”

Benny shakes his head. “No idea.”

“This is not the first time I have seen him hurt his brother,” Cas admits quietly. “And previously I have not done enough.”

“You’re an angel,” Benny rumbles. “Couldn’t you have threatened to smite him? With wings and halos and hellfire and all that?”

“Do you think Dean Winchester fears angels?” Cas asks. 

“I think you could make him fear angels,” Benny says. “If you wanted to.” 

“Would I be any better than him?” Cas asks.

Benny groans and looks back at Sam. He doesn’t look particularly disturbed. He looks calm, actually, at peace, involved in his work. Benny wonders how that façade remains in place all the time. He feels like Sam should have cracked, but he’s yet to do so.

“Sam Winchester is a miracle,” Cas says, and Benny doesn’t think the angel can read minds, so they must be looking at the hunter and seeing exactly the same thing. “Everything crumbles when pushed hard enough. Everything except Sam.”

“Even Sam has to have a breaking point.”

“Yes,” Cas agrees. “And I thought it was reached. Many times now. And he has stuttered, and fallen, and had setbacks. But he always keeps going.”

“Dean’s doin’ his best to be that stumbling block,” Benny says darkly. He still thinks brother in his head when he thinks of Dean, but the warm feeling is dampened. “Do you think we should get him out of here?”

“Which one?” Cas asks.

“Either,” Benny says. “Both. Just…we should keep them apart.”

Cas cocks his head. “Forever?” he asks. “These are not recent problems between the brothers, Benny. I don’t believe that time and distance will resolve them.”

“Just long enough for us to find something else to do,” Benny says. “Until I can get through to Dean.”

“Sam and Dean will not take kindly to our interference,” Cas observes.

“They don’t have to know. We can just…keep them busy. You and me, feathers.”

“You are proposing a deal,” Cas surmises.

“Just sayin’…if you were to need to Dean on a hunt, something important…”

Cas nods. “I will…talk to Dean.”

Benny winces, imagining just about how poorly that will go. “Keep it light,” he advises. “Better not piss him off.”

“I am done being careful of what I say to Dean Winchester,” Cas says, looking back at Sam, whose black eye has just faded completely in the last day or so. 

Benny privately agrees but says, “and you’re not gonna get through to him at all if we’re not careful.”

Cas considers it and nods grudgingly. “Very well. For now.” He turns on his heel. “I shall find a hunt appropriate to draw Dean out. And you should leave before Sam notices you watching him. He doesn’t like feeling watched. He doesn’t know much about the difference between care and control.”

“Noted,” Benny says, throat dry, but the angel is already gone.

 

Dean leaves with little more than a “Goin’ out,” to Sam, taking the Impala to meet Cas in what Benny knows is Tolosa, Texas. Poor Sam has no idea, so Benny has to fill him in, explaining that Cas texted him the location, so they’d know.

Sam looks stunned to have been left behind and Benny thinks that this maybe wasn’t such a good idea. “Probably, uh, a small job,” Benny says lamely. “Probably didn’t want to bother you. ‘Cause, you know, you’re busy with this.”

Sam mumbles something mostly unintelligible but look up at Benny after to say, “Yeah. Sure that’s it, that’s all. I’m busy and they know it.”

Benny realizes they’ve failed even before they’ve begun and he can’t figure it out. From what he knows, Sam likes his books more than the actual hunt. Hell, Dean had been pretty vocal about Sam being plenty happy away from hunting when Dean was in purgatory.

“Guess it’s just you and me, then,” he says. “I’ll be good and quiet, let you get work done in peace.”

“What’re you going to be doing?” Sam asks and Benny looks at him hard. Sam has, so far, shown a distinct lack of interest in anything related to Benny beyond his feeding habits, but, for all Benny can tell, this seems to be a genuine question.

“Dunno,” he says. “Have a good book for me?”

Sam looks at him mistrustfully, like he thinks Benny is joking and just can’t tell for sure, but he gets up and finds an old, worn copy of Huck Finn. Benny takes it and sits himself in the corner, in the same room as Sam but far enough away he doesn’t think he’ll disturb Sam.

He is reading—something he hasn’t taken the time to enjoy in several decades—but he’s also watching Sam, and he can’t help but notice the near-constant checking of his phone.

“Got a date or something?” Benny asks. 

Sam sets the phone down, embarrassed about being watched. “They usually would call for research by now,” he explains quietly, anxiety creeping into his voice.

“Ah,” Benny says. “Sam, I think…think it was an angel thing, Cas was calling ‘bout. So he probably has it all figured out.”

Benny didn’t think it was possible but Sam’s face closes off even more. “Oh. So…so they really don’t need me. Okay.”

“Sure it’s not that,” Benny offers, but Sam has turned back to his cataloguing. 

Benny backs off when it becomes clear that Sam is not going to look back up at him, and goes back to his chair, but doesn’t pick up the book again.

He knows he and Cas were right to get Dean away from Sam. He knows Dean is dangerous around Sam. But he also is pretty sure they fucked everything up already, with Sam looking like someone killed a puppy in front of him or something.

He’ll just have to…distract Sam, he supposes, until Cas and Dean get back, and then he and Cas will have to find other ways to keep them apart, ones that don’t involve Dean on hunts and Sam left behind, feeling like this. 

He goes back to his book but most of the enjoyment has been sucked out of it now and he’s pretty much constantly watching Sam. He works slowly, methodically, and if Benny hadn’t just seen his face go blank at realizing Cas and Dean didn’t need him, he wouldn’t know a thing was wrong.

He can’t stand sitting and watching anymore—it’s not like Sam is doing anything that’s actually interesting—so he gets up and leaves, book carefully placed on the chair. It wouldn’t do to damage Sam’s books. Benny is pretty sure that that would qualify as a monstrous quality to Sam.

He finds his way to the kitchen and starts to bang around. He may not eat himself anymore, but he still knows his way around a kitchen just fine. 

He usually cooks for Dean, but not for Sam. Sam usually eats something else, something healthier than whatever Benny fries up. So Benny makes a big salad, throws in some chicken, and hopes it will be something Sam will like.

He grabs the salad and a beer and brings it out to the library, setting it on the table Sam is using. “Need to eat,” he says, producing a fork and offering it to Sam. “Hope this is what you like.”

Sam nods, seemingly surprised. “Salad’s good, thanks,” he says. He hesitates a moment, then asks, “are you gonna eat with me?”

“Sam, I don’t—“

“Blood doesn’t bother me, Benny,” Sam interrupts. “Long as, you know, it’s from a bag.”

Benny considers, watching to see if Sam is serious. He clearly is, so Benny nods. “I’ll be right back.”

They have a separate fridge for Benny’s blood that Cas and Dean had brought in one day when Dean had expressed disgust with having blood in the main fridge, and Benny digs up a bag.

He brings it back to the library and sits opposite Sam, carefully pushing papers and books to the side to clear a space on the table. Sam picks up his fork and takes a bite.

“It’s good,” he offers. “Thank you.”

Benny smiles a bit. “Not a problem. Glad you’re talkin’ to me, and eating my cooking, now.”

Sam shrugs and stabs a tomato. “You make very convincing deals.”

Benny’s smile slips and his stomach drops. Only Sam would find a murder-pact reassuring.

To distract himself, he rips open the bag and takes a pull from it. It’s not as good as it is from the vein, but then nothing is. It’s good enough.

Sam keeps eating. He doesn’t flinch at the blood, whether from disgust or…something else.

“This smell good to you?” Benny asks, curious.

Sam snorts. “Not demon blood. I have no interest in human blood.”

Benny knew that, he supposes. At least, he knew Sam was a blood addict who started the apocalypse over demon blood. Or that’s what he’d gotten out of Dean.

“How’d that happen, anyway?” he asks. “I mean, unless I missed something, demon blood isn’t a drug most people use.”

Sam shrugs. “Didn’t you hear? I was destined to start the apocalypse. So a demon bled in my mouth when I was six months old to jump-start it all. I drank and drank to be stronger, so I could prevent the apocalypse. Only turns out I started it instead,” Sam says, giving a bitter laugh. “Of course, right? Anyways, that’s it. Hasn’t Dean told you this?”

“I wanna hear it from you, Sam,” Benny says. He hesitates, then, “I think of Dean like a brother but that doesn’t mean I’m blind. And I don’t need to hear about Sam Winchester from the guy who beats Sam Winchester.”

Sam looks at his almost-empty bowl. “Not much to tell,” he says. “Dean probably hit the important bits. Mediocre hunter, gets in the way, can’t make a good choice to save his life, started the apocalypse. Addict. Failed to complete the Trials—the Trials you died for, by the way. Killed a poor kid who deserved better and a half a dozen others beside with my own hands because I couldn’t wrestle control away from an angel. Pushed my brother until he became a demon. Barely able to pull him back from being a demon, and only after there was a whole slew of bodies that I couldn’t save. There, those’re the highlights.”

“First off, I didn’t die for your damn Trials,” Benny says. “I died for you and your brother, and I stayed that way for me. End of story. And for the rest…those sound like things Dean says, Sam. Not things you should say.”

Sam considers. “Dean doesn’t blame me for the Trials,” he offers. “Or for Kevin or the others who died while Gadreel was in me. Blamed himself for that, actually. Called himself poison and kept talking about that instead of…” Sam trails off, like he said too much.

“Instead of?” Benny prompts. 

Sam looks at him, eyes him up and down, as if he’s determining how much Benny should be told. “Instead of actually talking about what he did to me,” he says quietly. 

Benny leans forward. “Kid,” he says. “I think you should tell me everything. From the beginning. Tell me what you feel, not Dean.”

“Not a kid,” Sam says reflexively.

“Compared to me, everyone is a kid,” Benny says. “Well, everyone but feathers.”

“I’m over five thousand years old,” Sam says.

Benny raises his eyebrow. “See? Didn’t know that. How the hell you’re that old better fit into your story somewhere. Start talking, and I won’t call you kid anymore.”

Benny sucks down the rest of the blood as Sam talks. He’s scattered as he speaks, like he’s not entirely sure what’s important and he’s reaching a long way for some memories. But Benny can see what he’s saying, and what he’s giving is a picture of a frightened childhood filled with neglect and poverty, training and abuse. A little kid who loves his brother and whose brother loves him but loves their dad’s idea of family even more. 

And then there’s a teenager who’s never good enough, who tries hard in school and at everything else and just can’t be what they need. And there’s another lonely little girl who kills her monster mother to save Sam and Sam saves her in turn.

Then there’s a school and a girl who Benny thinks Sam still probably loves. There’s a fire and a return to hunting, a quest for vengeance and an absent father jerking his children around on a string. There’s a whole special destiny for Sam and kids like him.

There’s a dead father and a brother who wants to be him, then a dead Sam and a demon deal for Dean. And then Dean dies and Sam loses it. And Ruby is there for him, gives him a purpose and keeps him off the alcohol and alive, functioning, planning.

Then Dean is back and the apocalypse is coming and angels are pulling Dean away from Sam. And Sam has a solution and it technically works, except…well, except the information was bad and it turns out that he starts the apocalypse, and Dean thinks he’s a disgusting monster.

There’s the apocalypse and more deaths that weigh on Sam’s soul even when they shouldn’t, and a final standoff that leaves Sam in hell for five millennia. There’s Sam running around without a soul and then Sam re-souled, and Cas breaking Sam’s wall, and the hallucinations. Dean kills Amy Pond, and the hallucinations grow worse. Then Cas takes the pain so Sam can live, shaky and broken but functioning, and there is the fight against the Leviathans. Dean goes to Purgatory, Sam hits a dog and settles down, quiet and out of the way and surviving.

Sam doesn’t complete the Trials because Dean refuses to let him do it and die, even if he really was okay with that, but he dies anyway and Dean pulls him back from the brink of death—literally, seconds from walking away with Death—by shoving an angel inside of Sam. Who takes Sam’s control away, slowly, and then finally uses Sam’s hands to kill.

Then Sam throws the angel out and Dean walks off, refuses to apologize, acts wounded when Sam is upset. And Dean takes the Mark of Cain and becomes a Demon.

Sam and Cas together manage to cure him, but not until after he drops a swath of bodies. 

“And then he needed…well, he’s still pissed at me,” Sam says. “He kept talking about you. About how you never let him down. So Cas and I started to look.”

Sam looks surprised when he’s done and Benny realizes that this is probably the first time Sam has gotten to say all that. He wants to say something about that, about how Sam should open up more but he knows it’s about as useless a statement as anything, so he just says, “if you take your measure by how your brother talks about you, then you’ve got the wrong measure, Sam.”

Sam looks down, at his empty bowl and pushed-aside books. “I, uh,” he begins, but Benny doesn’t let him flounder with his words for too long.

“You need to stop listening to your brother,” Benny says smoothly. “Because he is wrong about you.”

Benny might have fucked up, allowing Cas to take Dean on a hunt and leaving Sam out, but now he could never say he was wrong to do this, for far more than physically removing the chance for Dean to hurt Sam. 

“You ain’t a monster, Sam,” Benny says. “You’re a damn hero.”

Sam looks up. “Were you listening to what I said?”

“Sure was,” Benny agrees. “A hero.”

Sam shakes his head, confusedly, and looks down once more.

Benny checks his watch to see it’s after eight. “C’mon, Sam. Know you’re not into the pie like your brother, but there has to be something sweet you like. See what I can whip up.”

Sam follows Benny to the kitchen, not offering any favored deserts but not shooing Benny away, either.

Benny smiles, careful to keep Sam from seeing it. This is far more than he expected to get in just one day, and while he knows there’s a hell of a long way to go, he’s more convinced than ever that this can be fixed, that he can help Sam Winchester save himself.


	3. The Confrontation

Cas and Dean make it home five days later and Sam goes quiet. Not that he’d been that talkative before—they certainly hadn’t had any more conversations like that first night.

But he’d been downright sociable compared to how he’d been before Benny had offered that damn deal. They’d made dinner together every night and, for the most part, Benny had sat in the library while Sam was working. He’d even gotten Sam to laugh a bit over a story about a time where he fell overboard and it took the other “Vampirates” twenty minutes to realize what happened, a story told over their shared dinner.

But Dean and Cas return and Sam shuts down once more. He’s so quiet it looks like he’s trying to disappear, he doesn’t eat with the rest of them, not even Benny, who always eats separately, and he sinks even deeper into his work.

“Think we need to separate ‘em again,” Benny says. “Shoulda seen Sam, without Dean. It’s good for him.”

“I can find another hunt,” Cas offers, but Benny shakes his head.

“Nope. Sam isn’t so keen on being left behind. Thought he wouldn’t mind. Hell, thought he’d like it, him and his books. But he looked like someone kicked him in the chest.”

Cas inclines his head in acknowledgement. “Where shall I take Dean, then?”

“I’ll take him,” Benny says. “You stay with Sam. It’s about time I had a talk with Dean, anyways.”

 

They end up fishing and Benny doesn’t really strike up a conversation until they’re floating in the middle of the lake. He supposes Dean could jump out and swim to shore if he really wanted to, but other than that, he has a pretty captive audience.

They have their lines cast before Benny says, “Tell me about the angel you let into your brother.”

Dean jumps a bit and the look that his face settles into is downright mean.

“What sad story did Sam tell you?” Dean practically snarls. “Did he remember to add that I saved his fucking life while he was whining to you?”

“Sit the hell down,” Benny says mildly. “Before you tip the damn boat. And I heard Sam’s story. I’m asking for yours.”

Dean shrugs. “I did what I had to do,” he says. “Figured you’d understand that.”

Benny’s voice gets lowers. “That I’d understand? Why?”

Dean shrugs again. “Purgatory, man. Do what you have to. Knew you’d get it.”

“Purgatory was Purgatory,” Benny says clearly. “And you don’t take that out of Purgatory, don’t get to act like that here. And from what I heard, you’ve been doing what you have to for a hell of a long time. Before Purgatory.”

“What did Sam tell you?” Dean asks.

“What didn’t you tell me?” Benny challenges. “Because you never mentioned that that little brother you talked about so much was scared to speak up, covered in bruises, thinkin’ he’s a monster, tryin’ to do anything to please you and always failing. So tell me, what did you leave out?”

“Look, the kid’s a fuck up,” Dean says. “Needs a babysitter and can’t follow orders to save his life. Self-centered and whiny when things don’t go his way.”

“First off, don’t call him kid,” Benny says. “He doesn’t like it and he’s older than both of us combined anyways. Second—that’s it?” Benny asks incredulously. “That’s all you have to say about your brother? The one you wouldn’t stop talking about? The one you supposedly care so much about?”

Dean’s eyes darken. “You think I don’t care about Sam? I sold my soul for him. Hell, I raised him. Looked after him, cleaned up his messes. Saved his life again and again. Hell, I killed you to save him.”

“Don’t make that more than it was,” Benny says sharply. “You wanna tell yourself this shit, fine, but don’t use me. You sent me to Purgatory to save him, knowing I could come back. Staying was my choice, had nothing to do with you. And I’m glad all that makes you feel good about your miserable self. But people who really care about people don’t keep a list of reasons why they own that person. None of that gives you the right to treat Sam like a disobedient piece of property.”

Dean’s eyes narrow. “Benny, what’re you trying to say?”

Benny leans forward a bit. “I’m sayin’ you’re a piece of shit to your brother and I think we both know he’s better off without you.”

Dean flinches, but Benny started harsh on purpose. He softens his voice as much as he can. “But I think we also both know that it doesn’t have to be like this. You need to control your brother and keep him on a leash and make him feel like shit for whatever reason—keeps him with you, I guess. But Dean, that ain’t your brother. That’s a shell that’s tryin’ his damn hardest to be what you want and still be a person, and Sam is gonna fail, because as far as I can see, there’s no pleasing you. You are breaking your brother. And you don’t have to.” He pauses for a second. “I had two boys, Dean. Good boys. Even better brothers. And I had boys who trusted each other and respected each other, helped each other and listened. They were equals, Dean. And you know what? I went to visit them, and they’re buried side by side. That’s how long their brotherhood lasted.”

Dean’s quiet, a mulish expression on his face. He finally speaks up, only to say, “It’s not my fault that—“

“Nothing’s ever your fault, apparently,” Benny interrupts, and then begins to steer them back towards shore, fishing long forgotten.

 

Dean disappears while Benny is busy dealing with the man who rented them the boat. Benny can’t say he’s exactly surprised. He hopes Dean is just blowing off steam, getting a drink, thinking. He hopes he’ll call him—or at least call Cas—soon.

Still, Dean took the Impala and it’s annoying to get himself back to Lebanon. He walks most of it, but manages to get a ride along the highway for an hour or so, bringing him closer to what he’s starting to really think of as home.

Cas lets him back into the Bunker once he bangs against the door a couple of times.

“Dean ran off,” he explains. “Couldn’t take someone telling it to him straight. Think he’s just coolin’ down.”

“What are you going to tell Sam?” Cas asks.

“The truth,” Benny insists firmly. “Could use a bit more of that in his life.”

Sam isn’t in the library, for once. Instead, he’s in the computer room, fiddling around with some wires underneath the ancient machine.

“Never got the hang of these myself,” Benny comments, leaning against the door.

“That’s because you’re even older than this damn machine,” Sam returns and Benny smiles. He’ll more than gladly take the crack at his own expense to hear a joke from Sam.

“Yeah, yeah,” he huffs.

Sam looks up. “Where’s Dean?”

Benny hesitates half a second too long and Sam’s face falls. “He’s not coming back,” he surmises.

“Nah,” Benny says easily, “he’ll be back. Just needs to cool off.”

Sam pokes his head out. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him about my sons,” Benny says. 

Sam looks away. “Didn’t know you had kids.”

“I was human, once, you know,” Benny reminds Sam. “Had three. Littlest one died young though, only eight months old. Anyways, the older two were fourteen and twelve when I got turned. Never saw ‘em again, until recently. Went to the graves.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam says.

Benny shrugs. “They turned out plenty good without me there, I guess.”

“And that made Dean bolt?” Sam asks.

“He bolted when I told him about them,” Benny agrees. “Said they were good brothers. Respected each other, were equals. Made their brotherhood so good, they were buried next to each other. Might’a made a few comparisons.”

Sam looks up at him, and he looks angry. “You don’t get to do that,” he says firmly. “What’s between Dean and I is between Dean and I. You’re not involved.”

“Dean’s my friend,” Benny says easily. “And friends don’t let friends act like that.”

“My brother and I can figure out our own shit,” Sam says quietly, not sounding convinced.

Benny snorts. “Sam, you can’t even get the guy to listen when you talk. Not your fault. But I think things are a little too tangled up now to hope they’ll just unravel and fix themselves.”

“It’s not his fault,” Sam says quietly. “Dad taught him…Dad taught him to take care of me. And I’ve fucked up so many times…he’s doing the best he can.”

“No, he’s not,” Benny says. “He’s doing what he wants. He thinks he’s getting what he wants. But he’s killing you in the process and that’s not okay. He’s a grown-ass man, Sam. He’s not some little boy listening to your daddy. 

“And more to the point,” Benny continues, “you’re not a fuck-up, Sam. You’ve made mistakes. So has your brother. The difference is you own yours, and Dean likes to pretend his didn’t happen, or, worse, blame you for them. You’ve both made mistakes, but neither of you are a fuck-up.”

He pauses a moment to consider. “Well, Dean is, right now, because how he acts is pretty fucked-up. But he could…not be one. Could be a better person. A better brother.”

Sam doesn’t look convinced, so Benny presses. “Wouldn’t it be nice if what you said mattered just as much as what he says?” he asks. “If he trusted you to do things on your own and trusted your word? If you two worked together when something went wrong? If he talked to you like an equal?”

Sam ducks his head. “There’s nothing…sure maybe I’d like those things, Benny, but you don’t know me, not really. Dean does what he has to.”

“No one has to treat anyone like that,” Benny says firmly. “I don’t know when your brother is comin’ back, Sam, but hopefully right now he’s off sulking, licking his wounds, thinkin’ ‘bout what I said to him. Maybe he’ll make some changes when he gets back. And you don’t haveta do anything, Sam, but I’d like it if you maybe decided you were going to do your best not to take that shit from Dean anymore, help him along. I’ll help you,” he offers. “Cas will too.”

Like he heard his name, Cas walks in and nods. “I will, Sam.”

Benny’s mouth quirks into a smile. “Were you listening this whole time?”

“I feel it prudent to understand what is going on in this bunker,” Cas says. “And I agree with Benny, Sam. There is nothing acceptable about how Dean treats you.”

Sam looks confused, overwhelmed, but he nods. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits. “Dean and I…just are. I may not always like it but it just is. I don’t know how to change it.”

“That’s okay,” Benny says. “We can figure this out. We’re here for you, Sam.”


	4. The Confession

Dean makes it back to the Bunker three weeks after he walks off on Benny.

He calls Cas once, a thirty-second call to say he’s alive and that he’s hunting with Tracy Bell. Sam seems relieved to get the news, even if they never do get another call.

In the meantime, Sam starts sleeping seven hours a night and looks rested most mornings. He eats at least two meals a day, too. Benny is pretty sure that this has to do more with his nagging and Cas’ disapproving stares than it does with Dean being gone, but every victory is a victory.

Sam starts to smile, first. It’s little things, but both Benny and Cas notice. He smiles when they cook—Sam might be the only one who eats, but cooking has become some sort of evening ritual for them—and he smiles when they share stories. Soon, he even starts joining in. 

“So there we were,” he says, “and the project is due in forty minutes and the flashdrive is still in Jake’s dorm, but he’s so hung over he’s not answering his phone. But his window was cracked, so I climbed up four floors and got in that way. Only, it turns out—okay, so we may all have been a little drunk when we did that project. And I may have misremembered which room was Jake’s, because I let myself fall into the open window only to fall into some other dude’s bed, on top of him.”

Benny laughs. Cas expresses concern as to whether Sam ever got their project turned in. Sam assures him that he did, once he explained the mix-up, walked four doors down the hall, and banged on Jake’s door until he’d gotten what he’d came for.

Soon after, he shares stories of some lighter moments between him and Dean.

“I glued his hand to a beer bottle once,” he admits. Then he starts ticking things off on his fingers. “Screwed with the car radio to give him a jump. Reversed hot and cold in the shower once. Made orange juice with Kraft cheese powder. Oh yeah, replaced his porn with church pamphlets once.” It’s the first time they really talk about Dean since the day Dean left, and Sam does it all with a smile. 

Cas starts to go through the books with Sam and Benny supposes it’s good that someone else is willing to be excited over a hunk of old paper with some illegible writing on it. The two of them together get a lot more cataloguing done, which Sam seems happy about and Cas excited over. 

Benny takes to reading in the library, just to be near the other two, and one day he looks up to realize that Cas is sitting at a different table and Sam isn’t reading some ancient text but is actually reading The Wizard of Oz. Sam’s investment in the book makes him smile, and that night he brings dinner to Sam rather than interrupt him.

Three nights later, they watch The Wizard of Oz on a DVD Benny managed to find at an old store in Lebanon. They get all the movie snacks—popcorn, licorice, and raisenettes—even though Sam is the only one eating. When Cas makes one too many comments during the movie, Benny reaches into Sam’s popcorn bowl and throws some at Cas.

The next day Sam finds a hunt online. Benny hadn’t even known he’d been looking, but Sam just shrugs and says, “saving people, hunting things, right?”

Which is how the three of them find themselves in Centerville, Ohio, Cas and Benny tagging along with Sam, unwilling to let him hunt alone.

They get a room for Sam and Benny to sleep in and Sam immediately sets up his laptop, clicking away for nearly half an hour while Cas and Benny wait for some sort of instruction.

“According to the police file,” Sam says finally, “all three victims died of what appears to be a snake bite. I mean, their blood coagulated and everything. But, get this—no puncture wounds or bite marks on their bodies.”

Benny raises an eyebrow. “That in the paper?”

“’Course not,” Sam says. “Their firewall sucks. Read their report. Anyway, they have no idea what they’re looking at. Coroner is going back over for needle marks—in case someone is injecting it. But if he didn’t find it the first time, my money is it isn’t there. Think we’re looking at witches.”

Sam frowns and goes back to clicking away and Benny and Cas look at each other and shrug. They wait a bit longer and then Sam looks up again.

“We need to go to the school,” he explains. “I’m just gonna change, then—“ he gets a good look at the two of them and trails off. “Reporters,” he says instead. “We’ll say we’re reporters, if anyone asks. You two could never pass as Feds.”

Benny looks at his own clothes and then over at Cas and privately agrees, thinking of the suits he knows Sam and Dean have and thinking that, if he plans to stay with this, he might have to get one.

Sam grabs the keys to the car and leads the way out of the motel room.

 

When they’re away from the research and at what Benny assumes is an actual scene, it becomes clear that Sam is a little off. He’s walking and glancing around like he expects someone beside him, like all his game plans are designed for two and no matter what Benny and Cas do they can’t fill the empty shoes.

But he’s not exactly lost even if he does seem to be off a step, so Cas and Benny follow him to the classroom at the very end of the hall.

The door is unlocked but the room empty, so Benny and Cas end up awkwardly standing at the door while Sam digs through the desk.

“Should you be doing that?” Cas asks. 

“Probably not,” Sam concedes, “but this was the best link I found, and if I’m right…well, we’ll know any second now.”

The door opens and someone walks in and Benny automatically stops them, making them bounce off his arm.

The newcomer is about forty, dressed like a teacher, and apparently flustered to be barred from entering what Benny guesses is his own classroom.

Benny takes his arm down. Any one of them could snap the guy like a toothpick if he turns out more dangerous than he looks, and if he really is just a weedy teacher, than Benny supposed it’s better not to dig themselves into an even bigger hole.

“What are you…” he asks.

“Just finishin’ up,” Benny says lamely.

“Look, I’m going to call security—“

“You’ve got black magic books in your desk, Mr. West,” Sam interrupts. “Not a crime, but, you know. Kind of weird for a teacher. Something you don’t want me showing security.”

The man stops, and Benny closes the door before this gets loud.

“How did you…” his expression changes, resigned. “Hunters.”

Sam nods, although Benny would argue that, for accuracy’s sake, he and Cas don’t really fall under that label. 

“You killed three people,” Sam points out. “Couldn’t expect that to fly under the radar for long.”

The man shrugs. “Could’ve hoped.”

“Why those three?” Sam asks. “You teach hundreds of kids. Two dozen of them are in your club, too. So why those three parents?”

“It’s a creative writing club,” the teacher says. “Where students can write and share things they might not be able to share anywhere else. I learn a lot about my students. Not all of their parents deserve the air they breathe.”

“So you killed them,” Sam says in disgust. “You could’ve called social services, could’ve taken care of this the right way…”

The man looks at Sam shrewdly. “I think you know as well as I do how useless that would have been.” He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “You caught me. Three of you, one of me, you have my book. What’re you going to do?”

“Sorry,” Sam says, and he seems genuinely sorry. “But you killed. And you can’t come back from that.”

“So you’ll kill me?” the man asks. Sam nods. “So what does that make you?”

“Nothing I’m not already,” Sam says, and he grabs his knife.

“Sam, don’t!” Benny barks.

Sam lowers his knife a bit. He doesn’t take his eyes off the witch, but Benny knows he’s listening. “Don’t kill him, Sam. Burn the damn book, burn his shit. He knows we’re watchin’.”

“Once a monster…” Sam begins, but Benny doesn’t let him finish.

“That’s a pile of bull and you know it,” Benny says. “He can stop, Sam.”

“He’ll kill again,” Sam says, but he sounds less sure.

Sam’s deliberating when it happens. Benny isn’t sure if the teacher rushes Sam in a—stupid—attempt to take him out or if he really was running at the knife, but it happens either way, the teacher bleeding on the floor and Sam’s knife clattering down as he looks at what happened.

“Christ,” Benny says, rushing away from the door towards the man on the floor.

Sam gets in his way, knife still on the floor. He’s bigger than Benny and he’s strong, but he’s not a match for a vampire completely unarmed and they both know it. Not that it matters, because Sam and Benny clearly have very different ideas regarding the situation.

Benny holds up a hand. “Easy,” he says. “Not gonna drink him. Wanna see if we can save him.”

“Call an ambulance, Sam,” Cas suggests, already bending over the man, looking at the wound. “I can heal the worst, but…my grace…he will need a hospital.”

Sam seems on the verge of protesting but he makes the call.

Cas stands as Sam hangs up. “He will live, if he gets help,” he says. “And it’s time for us to leave.”

“One minute,” Sam says, then crouches next to Mr. West. “I’ll play it this way for now,” he says, “but I see one more suspicious death in this town, and I’ll be showing up at your door, got it?” The man nods, and Sam stands. He takes his knife and the books, and then he nods, satisfied.

They clear out fast, thankfully not running into anyone else. Sam drives them away from the school, and they pass the ambulance as they go.

When they’re back at the motel, Sam starts throwing his stuff together, his laptop going back in its case and the phone charger he’d set up being rolled and stuffed away. “We shouldn’t stay,” he says as he collects his bags. “He can…he can tell them what we look like. We need to be gone before they start looking.”

Benny and Cas can’t fault the logic, so they throw their things in the trunk and get in the car. Cas spreads out across the back and Benny takes the passenger’s seat, and they begin to drive out of town.

“You did the right thing,” Benny offers.

Sam makes a huffing noise. “We’ll see. Probably be back here in six months, maybe less, another coupl’a bodies.”

“Think he’s plenty scared outta playing with magic, Sam,” Benny says. “But, hell, watch him. And, I guess he puts a toe outta line, you take him out.”

Benny is quiet for a few more minutes. “You didn’t take me out.”

“You didn’t give me a reason to,” Sam says.

“You thought I was,” Benny says.

“Pretty logical conclusion. How did you…”

Benny shrugs. “More to me than just needing blood, Sam. I give myself what I need. I work to stay strong. And I don’t drink every human with a paper cut. We can learn to overcome these things, Sam.”

Sam’s quiet for a moment, then he says, “I don’t think I could’ve killed you.”

“Not without your knife, you couldn’t’ve,” Benny agrees. “What’re you doin’, fighting a vampire unarmed?”

Sam waves the hand not on the wheel. “I mean, at all,” he says quietly. “Getting in the way…that’s instinct, at this point. But actually doing it…”

“I was never gonna kill you,” Benny says.

There’s a flash of hurt in Sam’s eyes. “You said you would…”

“If it came to that,” Benny agrees. “Think I would try to save you first. But yeah, Sam, I ain’t gonna let you run around killing people. I would stop you. Wouldn’t kill you unless I couldn’t do anything else, though.”

“Benny, there’s gonna be a point where one of us doesn’t have a choice,” Sam says. “That’s just how it works.”

“I made that deal so you’d feel better,” Benny says. “And the only reason I’m okay with it is because I know we’ll never have to use it. So if it makes you feel good to know it’s out there, great. But I have faith in you, and me.”

“You once had faith yourself, Sam,” Cas says from the back seat, making Sam jump slightly. “People can change, correct? There’s a reason for hope.”

Sam grimaces. “You saw that while you were in my head.”

“I saw that in your soul,” Cas corrects, “and I am sorry, if that bothers you.”

“Yeah, well…what did that get me?” Sam asks. “World still nearly ended. Still killed you, and Bobby, and nearly Dean. Still let the devil in.”

“You overcame a destiny planned for millennia,” Cas corrects. “You defeated the plans of some of the most powerful beings in existence. You proved yourself stronger than Lucifer. You beat an addiction you were given at birth and turned your back on what the Devil offered you.”

Benny nudges Sam’s arm. “If you can do all that, then I think we’ll be okay on the rest of it.”

“I’m still going to check up on that witch,” Sam warns.

“Of course,” Benny says. 

“And this doesn’t mean that I’m just going to forget about what you and I…could be.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to,” Benny says.

“I’ll still take you out if you fall off the wagon,” Sam says.

“Mhm.”

Sam doesn’t continue for a minute, then he says, “I’d almost forgotten. That I used to think that. I used to believe that. Or—or really wanted to believe that.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Benny says.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been proven wrong, more than once,” Sam says.

“So prove yourself right,” Benny says. “Bring your own faith back.”

Sam seems to consider as they keep driving, but Benny sees the small nod.


	5. The Concession

Sam and Cas are busy arguing over the translation of something Benny can’t make heads or tails of anyways when the big door cracks open.

“I’m telling you, it means to transcribe,” Sam says.

“Sam, I appreciate your studies. But I was actually there at the time. I existed when this language was spoken.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing you weren’t talking to humans then, because apparently you don’t know their language.”

Cas opens his mouth to retort but stops when he hears footsteps. Benny hears them next, then Sam.

Dean walks in.

He has a neatly stitched cut over his left eye and his shirt is torn, but Benny can’t smell any blood and overall he looks unharmed, if a bit tired.

“Hey,” he says, nodding at them as he makes his way through the library, leaving towards the bedrooms.

They’re silent while they wait for him to return, work forgotten. He comes through again a few minutes later, in fresh clothes, and, surprisingly, it’s Sam who speaks first.

“You staying?” he asks.

“Dunno,” Dean says. “You all seem to be getting on fine without me.”

“We are,” Sam agrees, and Dean flinches. Benny thinks that Sam must have seen it but he doesn’t let on, just keeps talking. “Doesn’t mean we don’t want you here.”

“Not the way I heard it,” Dean shoots back.

Sam is quiet for a moment, long enough for Dean to start to pull away, but he stops once Sam begins speaking once more.

“You treat me like shit,” Sam says honestly. “And I’m sick of it. They’re sick of it too, I think. And I’m…dammit Dean, I’m not going to let you treat me like that anymore. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want my big brother.”

“Look,” Dean says after a moment of deliberation. “I know…some things I’ve done. They’ve hurt you. I shouldn’t’ve hit you, when I did, and if you want a shot, take it.”

Sam shakes his head, rejecting the offer. “I’m not going to hit you, Dean,” Sam says quietly. “That’s not what this is about.”

Dean keeps talking. “Everything I do…I do it to take care of you, Sammy. That’s what I do. Look after my kid brother.”

“I don’t want to be something to look after,” Sam says. “I don’t want to be something to do. I want to be…I want to be your brother, your hunting partner. I want to be your equal. I want…I want you to treat me more like you think you treat Benny.”

Benny watches Dean struggle with that, frown creasing his face.

“Benny is…Benny is different,” he explains. “Benny is…well, it’s my job to look after you, Sammy. I don’t have that with him.”

“Dean,” Sam says with what Benny considers a shocking amount of patience, “that’s the problem. I don’t want to be your job. I can be your brother. Or I can be a job for you to do. But I can’t be both. And I’d really prefer to be your brother, because I’m not going to lie, I don’t think I can keep doing this if I’m just going to be a job.”

It’s quiet when Sam finishes, the air seemingly heavier. 

It’s Sam who breaks the silence first. “So—are you staying?” he asks.

It’s a challenge and a plea at the same time, and Dean seems to take it as such.

“Yeah,” he says after a moment. “Guess I am.”


End file.
